Keep your day job

Dear Wife,

I know you are a spectacular accountant. I also know you are a miserable actress. How do I know this? Because every morning while I'm brushing my teeth, you put on a big show and dance as you pop your daily birth control pill into your mouth and happily gulp it down. Allegedly. Now either I'm John fucking Nash or you are just that retarded, but I can clearly see that you never actually put the pills in your mouth. Additionally, when you make me take the trash out ever Tuesday and Saturday, I often see a number of little white pills sitting in the bag.

So my dearest wife, while I am flattered to be your own personal sperm donor, I have the inkling that this just might be an issue we should decide upon together, as husband and wife.

Cheers,

Your Husband

ps please no more blaming your bitchrage on the 'hormones' in your birth control pills.